Woman explains why she and her husband live in separate apartments: ‘Make your own rules’

‘Do whatever brings you peace and happiness. Love this!’ one viewer writes

Woman reveals why she and her husband have separate apartments in New York City (TikTok / @sanaakhand)

A woman is reminding others that every marriage is unique after revealing that she and her husband make their own union work by living separately from one another in their own apartments.

Sana Akhand, who goes by the username @sanaakhand on TikTok, described her and her husband’s living arrangements in a video uploaded this week, in which she explained that she is a 32-year-old married New Yorker living on her own because apartments in the city are “just too small to allow us to feel independent”.

“We lived together for six and a half years before deciding to make our own rules and do what works best for us and our love story,” Akhand continued in the video.

In the caption, the 32 year old told her followers that “this is your sign to make your own rules”.

As of Wednesday, the video has been viewed more than 593,000 times, prompting numerous viewers to share their praise and support for the couple’s unique situation.

“Having personal space and physical boundaries is such a crucial aspect of marriage. I feel validated in this,” one person wrote.

Another viewer said: “We only live once! Do whatever brings you peace and happiness. Love this!”

“I’m all about this. Live however works for you! There’s no right or wrong way,” someone else wrote.

The video also prompted some viewers to question how the couple’s arrangement works, with Akhand explaining that she stays in her apartment and her husband stays in his but they have “dinners and sleepovers together and date nights”.

“But I still have a whole apartment to myself,” she added.

In response to another user who said that the idea sounded appealing, the TikToker agreed, before admitting that it had “sounded crazy to me at first but it’s been such a blessing”.

Following the interest in the couple’s living arrangement, Akhand made a follow-up video, in which she shared additional details about her and her husband’s marriage.

In the video, she explained that she and her husband got married when she was 24 and he was 29, and that they had been eager to get married so that they could live together.

“I had never lived alone and I went straight from living with my parents to living with him,” she explained. “And I never had a place of my own.”

According to Akhand, because she’d never lived alone, she ended up becoming “very codependent” on her husband, their relationship and their marriage, with the TikToker recalling how her husband then became a “saviour to help me through all of my emotional issues”.

Akhand said she eventually got to a point where she felt she was losing her sense of “independence” and felt “constricted,” not in her marriage but in “life in general” because of all the “societal pressure”.

The TikToker then explained that she quit her corporate job in 2018, and that her and her husband then travelled the world together, but that they had been working in small spaces from home together for more than three years.

“So we’re very used to sharing a small space. It wasn’t a ‘space’ issue physically, it was more of an emotional and mental space issue, where I had a lot to heal,” she continued, adding that she had abandonment and codependency issues which she felt she had to heal on her own.

According to the 32 year old, she took this time to work on trauma healing, while noting that her husband was also working through issues of his own.

“Long story short, we love each other very, very much, we miss living together a lot, and we will definitely live together again someday but right now this works and we spend three to four nights a week together and I love having my own space to dance and play,” Akhand concluded.

As for the logistics of their living situation, Akhand revealed in the comments that she and her husband live in studio apartments just 15 minutes from one another on the Upper West Side and Lower East Side areas of Manhattan and that they pay $5,000 collectively.

In the video, the TikToker also thanked those who had praised the couple’s unique situation, explaining that the positive comments gave her “faith in humanity”.

The follow-up TikTok was met with additional supportive messages, with one viewer writing: “As long as everyone is happy and safe… who cares what others think. Wish you the best.”

“Girl, YES!!!!! Do what makes you happy!!! Who cares if people don’t agree. If it works for you, do it,”another person wrote.

The Independent has contacted Akhand for comment.